How not being my best friend’s wedding witness taught me a lot about relationships. Medication can also help with the intensity of the emotions that come with being with a favorite person. As they say, all things in moderation, or, as Marsha Linehan would say: It’s all about finding the middle path, accessing your wise mind and creating a life worth living. It’s to cultivate a mindset that your favorite person might leave someday, but that’s okay. Terms, When Jealousy Brings Out My ‘Borderline Cling,’, The Symptom of BPD That Makes My World Black and White, 5 Things People With BPD Do That Get Mistaken for ‘Manipulation’, 9 Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder – as Explained by Memes.

Other times, you can become so desperate that it puts you into crisis; a spiral into that dark and twisty place. If your favorite person hasn’t made time for you lately, respect that they’re busy. It could even be someone that you just met.

Unfortunately, us living with BPD have a tendency to push away the person we see as our favorite person, especially because we feel such intense fear of abandonment. To connect with a community of BPD warriors who want to support you, we encourage you to post a Thought or Question on The Mighty with the hashtag #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder. There is, however, something much more potent, so highly toxic that it quickly turns me into something I hate: jealous.

“In the back of my mind, I know what I’m feeling is pretty unreasonable, but the risk of being vulnerable is much scarier.”.

Burgess’ character taps into this fear when she says, “I’m scared that you don’t need me anymore. Oops! If you like gaming, make some gaming friends that you spend time with. This is manipulative and impulsive. It’s the vague responses you use in hopes they will demand you say more. “My childhood was very chaotic and I’ve been through some abuse so it makes sense as to why I sometimes behave the way I do [and] why I have such big fears about being invisible or abandoned,” Burgess explained. To explain her reaction to her partner (and understand for herself why she reacted so strongly), she created a comic. The infamous favorite person… the person that someone with borderline personality disorder filters their world view around… the source of comfort… the everything.

Let them know that sometimes you’re insecure of your friendship with them and may need lots of reassurance that everything is okay. When I have a favorite person, these days, I go into it with the mindset that I want to respect and adore this person, on mutual terms, but never demand that they stay with me forever. Take one glance across BPD forums and you will find countless posts devoted to the favorite person, also known as the ‘FP.’. Dialectical behavior therapy (the “gold standard” for treating BPD) reminds us that in order to mindfully act in our wise mind, we need to first take a non-judgmental stance. In her piece, “When Jealousy Brings Out My ‘Borderline Cling,’” she shared how the DBT skill can help her through jealous moments. With my earlier favorite persons, I noticed the “abandoned dog” effect that I mentioned earlier in this post. You can see her comic, “Deconstructing Jealousy” below. This one is the one that I struggled with the most, but has also helped me out when it comes to my own favorite person relationships. Date. Changing your thoughts or opinions to match your favorite person’s thoughts or opinions. 2020 Mighty Proud Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. If you like hiking, join a hiking club. No matter what path you end up on, they all lead to the same place later: regret. Some turn the pain they feel inward and may struggle with self-harm or suicidal thoughts. Messages with reminders that I am loved, that I am an incredible person, that she’s not going anywhere.

There are so many ways you may do it, that you can seek attention to soothe that aching heart and empty soul. It’s no secret that people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) feel things intensely, especially when it comes to their interpersonal relationships. Burgess wants people to understand that for many people with BPD, jealousy isn’t just about jealousy, it’s often a reaction to past trauma. There is a great comparison that when you have borderline personality disorder, you are like a puppy that doesn’t want its owner to leave. Assuming the worst will bring out sides of you that will lash out and throw tantrums, to “test” your favorite person. Now, a relationship with the favorite person can be healthy… but first, let’s go through the more toxic relationships with the favorite person. Other examples of what it’s like to have a favorite person while having borderline personality disorder: Having a favorite person is intense, especially when you have borderline personality disorder.

One of the more complicated parts of having borderline personality disorder (BPD) is when you develop that intense, unbreakable connection to one specific person: your “favorite person,” or FP for short. When people with BPD feel jealous, they can react in a number of ways. I can’t control it. Sarah Burgess, an illustrator who lives with BPD, knows what it’s like to feel misunderstood in her emotional reactions, so she created a comic to address an emotion that can be particularly difficult for people with BPD — jealousy. Eventually, my favorite person would get tired of my bullshit and leave.

Mentally creating a fantastical world where you are connected to the favorite person, though it may not be realistic. To me, personally, an FP is the person you go to most for support, validation, attention… For BPD individuals, there is a concept known as the 'FP'. Assumptions are the devil when it comes to having a relationship with a favorite person. Mighty contributor Megan Glosson is a big believer in wise mind. Wise mind helps you incorporate elements from your feelings (emotional mind) and logical side (reasonable mind) to make holistic decisions that will benefit you and your relationships in the long-run.